As children grow they hide parts of themselves. Indeed, at around seven months, the ego begins to settle into the child. The fontanel closes itself. The teeth (symbols of the ego) appear and a feeling of separation takes place. Adults, through various means, who have internalised this feeling of separation, might then involve themselves in the outside world with the acquisition of cars and material wealth, the consumption of drugs, the search for entertainments and excitations of all kinds. They should, for the oneness that they seek, do none of the above because what they are seeking is actually inside, not outside of themselves.
The inner world of a little child who painfully cries, hits out, bites and in other ways is naughty and destructive in his attempt to bring adult awareness towards his suffering, can be compared to that of the above wounded adult. Unless the child’s fear of separation is recognised, is honestly communicated about and consciously transformed by the loving actions and consistent examples of his parents, the child and the adult will both continue to run away from parts of themselves, creating frustration and disease on many levels of their lives.
The compulsion to find the perfect partner, to buy the red Ferrari, to earn a lot of money, comes from an inner world which is in darkness but which is endeavouring to reach the light. The energy of this dark inside world needs to be consciously recognised and honoured. If it remains locked up in the small existential box that it has manufactured, made up of limitations, separations, suffering and fear, it will continue to express itself in a negative and destructive way.
I believe that this separation is the driving force behind wars, family feuds and other personal and marital conflicts.
What is the solution? Conflict resolution must start by stilling the internal conflicts within oneself rather than trying to change the external world. Today, more than ever we must be able to embrace the principle that shamanic and traditional societies value dearly – that everyone and every living part of Nature is connected and is to be honoured in every moment as one would honour a special guest.
The following simple exercise is a powerful way to remind ourselves of love. Each small step we take along the path to oneness creates great impact on those around us which may not be obvious immediately, but is obvious nonetheless in the higher realms and in the deepest parts of our hearts.
Find a comfortable, quiet space and sit or lie down in readiness for the exercise.
Breathe deeply into the area of your heart. Slowly breathe in and slowly breathe out. As you breathe out let go of your frustration, stress and anger. Imagine and feel the presence of the person you love most, coming towards you smiling and extending their hands out as if to embrace you. Feel the love and warm sensations that you have towards them as you smile back and reach out to embrace them.
Now begin to visualise that this person changes into the person that you would most like to resolve a conflict with. See them smiling at you in the same loving way and open your heart as you did with the person you most love. Remember not to allow yourself to go back to the negative thoughts or feelings this person may invoke in you. Instead, all the time, open your heart to the feelings you have for the person you most love (do this a few times if this is difficult) and continue to return to the image of the person you want to resolve the conflict with.
You will be surprised that the heart will find this easy but the mind (ego) will try to sabotage your efforts. As soon as you are successful in bypassing this sabotage your chosen person of resolution will have a bridge of change open to them, as you have changed your image of this person within yourself.
Through this exercise you will learn that change begins within and that the outside world follows suit accordingly.
Excerpt from ‘Shaman’s Wisdom‘ by Tony Samara.
Tony Samara, author of ‘Shaman’s Wisdom,’ ‘The Simplicity of Love Meditation,’ ‘Different Yet the Same,’ ‘Karma, Mantra and Beyond’ and ‘Discover Your Inner Buddha’ has been inspiring thousands of readers to discover inner peace and greater fulfillment in their lives, through the power and simplicity of practical Spirituality. At the core of his teachings lies the evolution of human consciousness, which in today’s world is vital for achieving deep, personal happiness, inner peace and the illumination of one’s inner quest.
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