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Why I Don’t Want to Meditate

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How long have we been in lockdown now?  I don’t know. I half-listen to the BBC news updates on radio and sometimes on the TV, but I haven’t found time to sit and read any online articles. Yes, you heard me, I do not have time to read the news these days! Lockdown life is exhausting, and I am currently feeling lost because I should be working on my 3rd Degree Reiki Masters course, but I am not doing the coursework. I have books to read on the subject, I should be keeping a diary of my daily experiences, and most importantly I should be practising daily meditation for at least 20 minutes per day, ideally more. I just can’t do it. My children have been home with me 24/7 since 23rd March, my husband is out at work for six days of the week, and when he is at home, he is either asleep or on his work laptop. I am lonely. I am bereft of the connections with my friends. It’s just not the same over Zoom! I miss my mum terribly, and she’s not a fan of video calling so we haven’t seen each other properly since my grandad’s funeral in March.

Why I don't Want to Meditate

None of this is a reasonable excuse for not meditating, but I’m not writing this blog post to make excuses. I have heard all sorts of inspirational stories from people on social media, claiming to be doing all kinds of fantastic things from home during lockdown. Some are raising money for charity. Some are making PPE for healthcare workers. Some are still working and keeping our country ticking over. I am home with the children and failing miserably at getting them to study their schoolwork. I have managed to do some decorating that I’ve been working on since last September, and for now that is more important to me than meditating.

Meditation @SpookyMrsGreen

I still practise reiki every day because it is a habit. I just don’t sit down and specifically study for my coursework requirements. It’s not a priority for me, and that’s ok. When I have finished the decorating and my house is in better order, perhaps I will feel more inspired to work. Right now I’m just treading water, keeping my children fed and clean, making sure the dog has some attention, trying to get through lockdown one day at a time. How are you managing this challenging time? It’s OK to say you are struggling. We are only human. We will kick and scream and cry when it gets too much. Then we carry on. I wish you well, my friends.



Catherine is the author of the adult paranormal romance series The Redcliffe Novels and also The Darkness of Love, She has short stories published in YA anthologies, freelance articles on various industry websites, and contributes to her personal blog, and her author blog .

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