Who are most Business Gurus and Coaches REALLY Trying to Help?
We all know that all the old paradigms, patterns and ways of doing things is changing– very fast. This is also true for business. Often we see a greater integration of the words business and spirituality– which appear to be such complete opposites. But they aren’t– and more and more the new business model is drawing on holistic and spiritual concepts.
They talk about the importance of connecting, creating relationships, building trust, and offering solid and genuine value. Sounds like really good all around advice. This isn’t just business advice.. It is also solid, sound practical “life advice.” Who wouldn’t want to live by these guidelines?
These concepts resonate deeply with me- as my work for many years has been grounded in the very concept of “building relationship.” It is the core of my equestrian program, and is even the underlying core for the site name, “Being Herd.” because we ARE social animals- but we have LOST the importance and value of genuine connection from our authentic selves. How do we reconnect with these basic core concepts that we strive for?
Recently, though, I had a “Santa Claus” moment… one of those cold-water awakenings… I am sure we have all had them… something that you perceive as unethical, AND as something you never would have imagined them saying or doing. A bit like hearing a priest telling someone to lie. Whether it is right or wrong.. the action itself has a shock value, because it breaks a firm perception… when, in this example, “priest” suddenly represents and advocates the opposite of the paradigm, the cold water part is the broken faith.. the broken energetic contract.. that the person does NOT, in fact, represent and stand for the things they have proclaimed.
So, I just had a Santa Claus moment. I have been building my online business- and as such, I put a lot of work into learning everything I possibly can, about the best ways to proceed. I just attended a webinar, from one of the ” experts” that I have been following. At the end there was an bonus offer- sign up for a free 30 minute session. So I did. There were things I liked about the information. I am still growing my business, and it is a work in progress, so I look to people who are ahead of where I am, at figuring out the best practices and methods for packaging and branding, along with all the tools they use. and I thought, great, this is perfect,and just what i need right now. A little concrete professional advice, only being offered to a few people. Who wouldn’t?
THIS is my bitch session. Almost every top tier coach is telling their “sob story,” how they were broke with cancer, or lost everything to illness, or lost everything in some other unforeseen life event. From a marketing perspective I get this tactic completely.. They are trying to show how human they are…”just like ‘you,’ ” who are still struggling.. AND– how they have gotten from nothing to successful, to demonstrate that it is possible. This is supposed to create empathy and connection and make the prospect “like” and “trust” them… it usually works… imagine that?
As a healer- i get this.. you cannot heal, or teach, the path you haven’t walked. But by this packaging, it would lead someone to perceive that the coach or guru is appealing to people who are still struggling on the path they have already “walked,” and are there to help them along the way. HA!
I had my “Santa Claus isn’t real” moment at the end of this free coaching session. We talked a little bit about what I was doing, and a bit of a chat-up, professionally. This business coaching guru was telling me that, with my product.. it was feasible that I could build up my platform and be making $2,000.00/month within about 2 months. I responded to him, a little bit of my disbelief.. not that it isn’t possible.. just that– it always sounds better in theory than it often works out in practice– but I know that this is a viable, feasible scenario. I am not denying this. I then responded to him, that if my available funds were low- as i do NOTHING on credit (no credit cards at all), and that i hoped to build a residual income, that would then afford the next step UP..
His response was- if I wasn’t ready and in a situation to hire him– why did I set up the free session? And I could tell also, from the tone of his voice- once he had determined that I was NOT an immediate prospect– he dried up and had already mentally (and soon physically) terminated the call– granted, the time was almost up, but still– there was a CLEAR shift..
SO, rather than taking the approach that said- hey, you’ve got some great stuff.. let’s see what we can do to get you to this next level,. here are some tips and advice for you…. it was one of almost annoyance, that I had wasted his time, because I was NOT ready to sign on the dotted line, NOW.
What I realised in this Santa Claus moment- these “free sessions”… aren’t about giving back, they aren’t about supporting the fledgling entrepreneur along their way, and it isn’t even about marketing to “strong future prospects”… It is just a camouflaged way to troll for more immediate sales.
Now- there’s nothing WRONG with that– but don’t package it as some altruistic humanitarian endeavour and undertaking! Offer it as- are you ready to work with us? Set up a free consultation and let’s find out.. clear and HONEST. AND– don’t spread on the.. oooh, I was so sick and dying rubbish..as false sympathy and emotional bribery.. if it isn’t part of your gig. In other words- walk the talk…. and what I realised.. is most of the talk is about reaching out, connecting, supporting, all the emotional bribery words.. the talk– is about their own bottom line. COMPLETELY.
Example, I had used one coach’s method of scripting, to create a video. i have interacted with this guy a few times,and he probably at least would recognise my name. i posted the video on his wall, with a thank you and good feedback on how his approach really helped me make an awesome video with a clear, tight script. not even a “like”, no comment, no.. thank you for the “praise,” and no..”you’re welcome” for the “help.”…. and they talk about ‘taking great care.’
I am now thoroughly jaded and disillusioned with the whole “business coach” model that appeals to emotional bribery and psychological tactics — that are hollow.
I will continue to pick and choose best practices from people who have become successful, but I know who I WONT.. EVER hire to help me as I become more successful and expand my own brand and coaching. I hope that as I proceed, I can continue to lift up the people around me.. and that I can continue to walk my talk– and build a model that maintains the integrity of what I say, and what I do….
Anyone else have moments like this? Share in the comments.
I am an Education Specialist, Health Coach and Author. I work with aspects of the teachings I have learned from Andean shamanic and cosmology, to health, nutrition and education. Everything is energy. Energy must flow. Like water, when it does not flow, it stagnates and is not healthy. These techniques help your life to flow. I have been initiated into many of the ancient lineages and learned ceremonies, rites of passage and healing techniques. I have worked as a healer and done workshops and taught some of these aspects – passing the teachings on.
Author of:
Dancing in Your Bubble : ancient teaching, modern healing
Natural Support for Alzheimer’s
Getting a Handle on Happy : find and fix causes of stress and depression
The Naturally Smarter Kid : a parent’s guide to helping kids succeed in school and life
Cafe of the Hungry Ghosts : behind the veil of ordinary – a paranormal-ish fiction book
http://BeingHerd.com
http://repairalz.com
