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What is the Spider in Your Life?

I was having a really good phone conversation with a friend last week when suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a big spider run across the floor and under the chair on the opposite side of the room.   I could feel my whole body tense and for the next few days I found myself looking over at ‘that chair’, knowing that there was an 8 legged beast residing somewhere in the vicinity.

After 3 days it suddenly emerged and, horror of horrors, it ran straight across the room and under my chair!  I immediately went and sat in another chair and moved everything with me – to accommodate the larger than life creature which obviously needed the space!  The poor thing was no doubt only finding shelter from the heavy rain and strong winds that we’ve been having lately in the UK, but that only barely registered on my conscious mind.

For the next few days I was ill at ease, knowing that the massive hairy monster was somewhere in the room (see how the imagination plays games if it’s allowed to take hold) and I took to wearing slippers and putting my feet up on a footstool – just in case!  In other words, I changed the way I had been living my life until the spider appeared.

I am a lot better than I was before I went to Australia and stayed in a house inhabited by Huntsman spiders.  That was a heart attack on legs I can tell you!  Before Australia I would have relocated to another room – and I’m not joking!  It’s not just spiders to be honest – I don’t like the feel of little legs crawling over me, so anything in the ‘little and multiple legs that moves quickly category’ is on my must to avoid list.

At this point, some of you reading this will totally understand and some will be laughing and thinking ‘What an idiot!’  I want to ask a question of you all!  Here it is!

What is the spider in your life?

What is it in your life that causes you to change your behaviour – is it your relationship, your children, your friends, your job?  What makes you so ill at ease that you can’t relax when you are in the company of someone specific, or in a certain situation?

Is your significant other, or a close friend, the cause of you mentally putting on armour when they come into the room?

Are you on tenterhooks when you go to work or school because there are people there that scare you?

Many years ago I worked on a project.  A new guy arrived – really nice guy and a real perfectionist – so am I for that matter.  Anyhow, one day he asked me to do something but his instructions were ambiguous, and I misunderstood.  When he didn’t get what he expected, just that once, he lost all faith in my ability and consistently checked all the work that I did from that day on.  The result was that whenever I had to do some work for him, I tensed up and, if I made any mistakes, it was always on the work that I did for him because I was so ill at ease.  It was the Law of Attraction at work – he assumed I wasn’t up to the job and he got mistakes from me (not many I hasten to add!) in response to his expectations.

Be wary of hearsay

I live in London and have done for many years.  I’ve lived through bombings, ‘terrorist’ threats and all sorts throughout those years.  In the early days I believed what I was told – that some foreigner or other was attacking us, and for no good reason.  These days I’m not so sure – it has come to feel like we are also being manipulated by forces closer to home in order to keep us in fear and divided as a community.

There are many spiders running around on the internet, through the pages of newspapers and the like – all of them having the potential of frightening us into changing our lives and behaviour to accommodate them.  I don’t think that any of us can afford to believe all that we are told, because a lot of it is based on falsehoods and is designed to encourage us to act in a certain way, to the benefit of different, and often anonymous, groups of people.  I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want to be a human puppet!

Some years ago during one of the bombing periods, it got to the point that bombs didn’t even have to be planted – all it took was a hoax phone call to shut London down.  No different really to Pavlov’s Dogs – where they were conditioned to salivate on hearing the sound of a bell.  I have to ask – isn’t this the route that a lot of human beings are being lead down?

In conclusion

I think we would all be wise to acknowledge what it is in our life that takes us out of our comfort zones and confront it head on.

We need to:

  • Stop boxing shadows and letting our imaginations be in control
  • Find out the facts
  • Don’t believe everything we hear – whatever the source!
  • Realise that some of the things that are being normalised (ie. food and medicine) are, in fact, very bad for our health – I repeat, find out the facts!
  • Accept that our weakness is to other people’s advantage, even if it only a case of us always doing the household chores while others relax
  • Face our fears – this might need getting some professional help if phobias are involved
  • Realise that people are mostly well intentioned – it is only the ill intentioned ones that seem to make the headlines! Good deeds are more often found on the internet than in the main stream media.
  • Be discerning about what we read, what we look at and who we associate with – negative people only support and encourage fear.

Back to my spider!

I decided that 5 days of wondering where on earth it was in my living room was quite enough – I wanted to relax again.  I decided to use a long handled duster to locate it and then find some way of getting it outside.  Once the plan was made, I was all ready for action – brave woman that I am!  The spider must have sensed my resolve because when I neared my living room I found it waiting in the hall right next to the front door.  I managed to open the door and guide it in that direction and my unwelcome but very illuminating guest was finally gone.

I wish you well with the spiders in your lives, and hope that once you have faced them, you will find them as accommodating and ready to leave as mine was.

Do you have any stories to tell?  I’d love to hear them.



Sue is the Founder of Soulfully Connecting.  She has spent over 40 years on her spiritual journey which, amongst other things, included training as a medium, hands on healing and travelling with a shaman.   She trained for 3 years as a graphologist and for 23 years has been a reader specialising in graphology and tarot – 14 of those years were spent participating in festivals both at home and abroad.

The idea behind Soulfully Connecting is to demonstrate that there are other ways of living which can heal the earth, the animal kingdom and ourselves.  She is passionate about people having freedom of choice, which is only possible when they know about all the options.

Sue is a member of the 7 Graces of Marketing community, the core purpose of which is to promote ethical marketing.



Twitter – @soulecting and @soulfullysue




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