What Do I Have to Feel?
There is a lot of habitual readiness to continue living with pain, when your pain has been with you for years. There is even fear. How can I live without pain? What will my life be like? What was the protection that the pain gave me that now I will be without? There are many questions like this. But I do not want to go into them today. I have done it in the past. Today I am asking intuition: What do I have to feel, so that I can live without pain? How does life without pain look like, from feeling point of view?
And this is the answer in a drawing.
I am not even collecting words. The words are useful to discover stories and experience feelings. But this is feeling already. I am ready to feel it. In time it will create new stories that will fit this feeling.
I am hanging this drawing in a place where I can look at it a lot of times and every time I’ll see it, I’ll feel how I have to feel so that I can live without that old phenomena that I am letting go of now. I am moving from one illusion to another one that I choose now.
I used to be a graphic designer and an illustrator. I became involved with the Chan Meditation Center and studied meditation and Buddhist knowledge with the late Master Sheng-yen from Taiwan. For twelve years I was in a process of deepening my meditation. I had many more experiences and insights and my life changed. After having illustrated more than 40 children’s books and writing two of them, I left this career too and went to New York University to study art therapy.
