It is hard to attach the anger to one specific issue.
When the vibration of anger appears in my being it immediately connects with so many more issues that have this kind of energy, and the experiences in reality that happen as a result are varied.
We all have a vast network of connections to all kinds of feelings and experiences. Trying to know them all and to release every one of them is practically impossible. And yet you do want to do something about this.
The wise and loving thing will be to become a witness that is anchored in a deeper state. It means to settle your self-identification in such a witnessing state, and allowing the varied energies to pass through the inner space of the mind. You can imagine the whole situation as being a part of an infinite heart-mind that includes every possible expression. The part that we are has the ability to make choices.
A choice is something like this: I enjoy experiencing this. I’ll stay with this feeling to experience more of it. Let’s see what more is possible in this area of feeling.
Every time you change your choices, even by a tiny measure, everything in your experience changes too, to bring you the experiences that match the way you feel. If you pay attention only to your senses, things will seem to be the same as before. But with your heart, you will notice that an old friend suddenly says something new that goes along with your new inner experience. An interviewee on the radio, for example, will say things that now for you are the truth and were not so before. You will find a book in which your new beliefs are expressed.
A cloud that passes in the sky before your eyes will have the energy of your new understanding. A bird will chirp your conviction to you. And for me, a line on the paper, the composition, the spaces in a drawing, will express precisely the intricate, sometimes complex, network of energetic connections that I have in this moment with all the energies that match my current state.
So here, to keep the record going, is a painting from a few days ago. My partner Anita called it A Stampede. I called it The Snake And Its Thoughts.
What is important in this art making process, if you want it to be a healing process, is that the focus is not on the person or circumstances that the anger is aimed at. Instead, it is on witnessing the energy of this specific inner event. You witness energy with your own energy. Maybe I’ll write about this in the next entry.
Once more, being a witness is not about waiting for the bad person to get his punishment. It is about being like a little child who does not attach any meaning to the experience, but is awed at its rich and unique appearance. This is the state that heals, because it is infused with the energy of appreciation, fun, playfulness, love, joy.
Nobody needs healing really. But when the inner, deeper perspective is active, the energy in that person is elevated and will start attracting events, environments and other beings with the same energy. This will be a better state of living. Living with these inner experiences will reduce stress in the body and there will be a better physical state too.
So here it is. Enjoy looking at my so-called anger.
I used to be a graphic designer and an illustrator. I became involved with the Chan Meditation Center and studied meditation and Buddhist knowledge with the late Master Sheng-yen from Taiwan. For twelve years I was in a process of deepening my meditation. I had many more experiences and insights and my life changed. After having illustrated more than 40 children’s books and writing two of them, I left this career too and went to New York University to study art therapy.