Not All Who Wander Are Lost
When I was in my very early twenties I can remember a longing, a yearning, to withdraw from society… To be a nun maybe..?
Those who know me well will laugh at this thought…!
But it was more the withdrawal from the world that I was attracted to – the spiritual contemplation and stillness that I craved.
I had, however, a deeper knowing that this was not my path – yet anyway – I felt that I must learn to ‘spiritually contemplate and be still’, in the activity and challenges of a life right in the middle of the twenty first century…
I knew that I must engage in relationships, and work, and the rigours of sport at a committed level, to find out where I was not still….
I can remember reading about a nun, she had spent twelve years in contemplation. She felt at peace and quiet within, and it was time for her to leave her place of withdrawal and still space, and return to the world…
On the bus down from her mountain retreat to the village life she was about to embrace, she discovered herself to be irritated by the actions and words of those around her….
She knew then that her real work had just begun…!
Thirty five years have passed since that time when I struggled so much with treading a path in ‘the market place’. I lived in the south of England in a world where ‘achievement and striving’ was recognised and celebrated… Quiet contemplation not so…
My humour and love of people kept me engaged, as well as connected to an understanding of my spiritual path; it kept me from ‘running away’ to a quiet life… And it would have been running away then…
But now things are different…
I have gone from the society as we know it. I live as a nomad travelling the world.
I have much time now for contemplation, silence and stillness, and yet I am fully engaged in the world too…
The planet is my home…
I saw a postcard recently and on it was written these words…
‘Not all who wander are lost’….
I have been running all of my life – it feels I was born to run. In the running step I experienced freedom and my true expression. I came to see that I needed to ‘get out of the way of myself’ and let my energy flow through the running step; allow it to express itself in the dance and the motion of running. I ran for England and GB for some years. My first international was in 1979, a three mile cross country race; and I continued to run at international level until 1993. Two of my best results were first place in the Dublin City Marathon in 1985 and 7th place woman, 3rd British woman in the 1986 London Marathon in a time of 2.36.31, which gained me selection for the Commonwealth Games.
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