Question: how much time do you spend on yourself? I’m not speaking of the externals: hair, nails, clothes, shoes, make-up, and all the rest. I’m speaking about your self : you, your mind, heart, fulfilment and life path? There’s of course much benefit in taking care of your body and well being. However, all too often we repaint the outside of our house and neglect the clutter, chaos and calling within.
Whatever you’re looking for in your life; it starts and ends with you. Whether you see or believe it you’re the captain of your ship, it’s down to you to steer you to a safe harbour. But it’s a challenge; we live in a world full of ideas, expectations and pressures about how you should look, feel and act. All the more reason to look at your self.
I’ve a saying “sooner or later you will hear what your heart has always been telling you; stop trying to be what you think you should be – become who you are’.” You see above and beyond all the pressures and expectations you want to be authentic, at peace and fulfilled in yourself and all that you do. This only becomes a reality when we go on an inner journey to brush away the external expectations and embrace ourselves and our happiness. No doubt you have many aspirations for your career, you may wish to find love, you may want to raise a family or grow a business. These things are best achieved – and will only be enjoyed and sustained – if you sort yourself out first. How can you have a happy, secure relationship with anyone else unless you love, value and are secure in yourself?
New School of Thought:
But like everyone else you’ve probably been taught that the right career, bank balance, partner, house and having a family will bring happiness. I call this the myth of modern living. Happiness emerges from who you are within – not what you are without. Don’t take my word for it, look at those you know. Look into the many ‘successful’ people in business to show business. Like yourself they were spun the lie that success leads to fulfilment. In truth, success is meaningless without fulfilment. What’s more, as a coach I work with many people – many very accomplished – and that old chestnut of self worth, self acceptance is what I have to work on first. You … then the world.
Turning your life around: By turning the two words around; fulfilment then success you will turn your world around. You’re already whole and complete. You were born complete: mind, body and spirit – regardless of the nature of that mind, body and spirit. Everything you have or will ever achieve comes from that unique wholeness, whether you go on to be a cheer leader or world leader. You never grow an extra brain or limb to achieve it because you innately posses all the potential to blossom as does a flower and all in nature. It’s only the belief that you are not whole that prolongs your search and unhappiness. Nothing’s missing – you’re perfect as you are. There I’ve said it – and few people will ever say it to you in your adult life. But ironically the first thing we say when we see a new born baby is ‘perfect’. But we forget that along the way. Once you embrace your innate fulfilment – your self – you will relate better to others, have rich relationships and move towards greater success and fulfilment in all areas of your life and career.
Rasheed Ogunlaru is an acclaimed life, business and corporate coach whose simple ‘become who you are’ approach has helped countless business owners connect with themselves, their businesses and their customers. His background spans over 20 years in coaching, training, media, PR and performance. Rasheed is the business coach partner to the British Library’s Business and IP Centre and business coach mentor to TiE UK. He is a highly sought-after public speaker and regularly appears in the media, including the BBC, The Times and the Guardian.
Twitter – @RasheedOgunlaru
or call 020 7207 1082