Healers, Friends and Possums

I have been surprised, but encouraged at the responses from other healers and their identical struggle and juggling act around their friendships outside of fellow healers.  Personally, I LIKE and almost prefer my non-healer friends.  I have other interests in my life, and I don’t want to live in my healers-hat all the time…  yes it is what I do, and what/who I am.  But it isn’t what I want to be/ do all the time.  I also like science fiction, and animals, and hiking– things that do not require those same areas of brain and thinking. 🙂

But often, in those friendships.. people are slightly less than comfortable.  Many times, they find themselves sharing more than they might with anyone else.. Often, I hear things like.. How did you know that? or, whoa, you know me too well.. or a look or a response.. where I have ” noticed” something others thought was either well-guarded.. or.. didn’t realise was there.. those… which are in the open.. are a little easier to address.. which, while it sucks.. gee- whoops, sorry.. I just thought the possum on your head looked hungry… I didn’t realise no one ( you?) knew you had a possum on your head.. sort of thing.. The other thing I tend to trip over.. is the people who are not as conscious.. especially true, when being around medicine people.. there are changes in their lives, their actions, their energy… we upset the apple carts- just by the nature of who we are.. what we do– we carry energy differently, and energy around us responds, like waking up, or activating..  healers don’t necessarily DO anything.. aside from occasionally asking if the possum could have a cookie.. People tend to do squirrely things.. have reactions and responses they don’t realise are either reactions to their own stuff, or responses to energy swirling around them in new ways… Responses such as: oh, sorry.. I got busy.. or.. i forgot to do X… While it is true.. may not be honest and completely accurate.. Yes, you got busy– but chances are.. there was a whisper of a moment when you could have gone one way, or the other.. and nudged “away”…

Now- my dilemma is often that it is hard to know if this is the person’s own stuff.. responding to something at my end…or if they are also pawns in larger playing boards.. These people are often not medicine people.. but are drawn toward flame.. for some reason.. perhaps it is some healing or support, and I am just being called to step in.. or perhaps it is their wake-up call ( when the student is ready, and all that)..

Regardless of the reasons, people around healers are not always as stable as otherwise.  Suddenly there are a lot of  external factors.. which at these points.. makes people vulnerable to those factors.. This is a particular factor for me.. as I have had sorcery issues pop up at various times in the past… So, there are times I start to see people doing things that don’t add up… BUT, this is a friend/acquaintance.. NOT a student/client- And, since it isn’t a client.. don’t really have the “permission” to pursue things.

And even more often.. I just find I am suddenly going off the rails.. without realising that I am picking up on too much floodwater gushing through the ether….   Someone noted that sometimes in friendships.. we see too much, and that to the typical, everyday person, who does not live in and experience the world in the same way, it is like the blind, resenting the sighted.. and disbelieving there is a visual world at all. I really like that metaphor about the blind resenting the sighted.. and the added irony is.. the healer, especially with friend-relationships is usually trying to politely say.. uumm.. did you know that you’ve got your hat ( or possum) pulled down over your face….? rofl 🙂

Sometimes it’s ego-mask.. sometimes it is a lack of energetic awareness.. either way.. it is being somewhat less than ideal integrity.. which I mean in an absolute medicine sense.. rather than a moral sense.. ( can elaborate if interested but suspect most here follow this?).. Either way.. it’s hard to talk about possums with people who have them on their heads.  It isn’t about wanting/ trying to heal someone else.. but the nuts and bolts reality, that often people do screwy things.. people around healers.. especially as “friends” rather than students, colleagues or clients.. can be “susceptible” to the energies healers work with/in…

They don’t necessarily know that they are doing things out of character.. one way or another.. and as a healer.. the struggle to balance those aspects of compassion and insight.. re- seeing things they do not.. and holding boundaries, re.. they just did something crappy or hurtful ..

Add to that, as a healer, the dilemma of not even knowing if they were acting consciously.. or if there are third-party/ external factors at play. Sometimes worse than knowing things.. is not-knowing.. when you know you should know… that hunch that says.. something doesn’t feel right… but.. as it isn’t a client, student, or even a professional colleague.. it isn’t a conversation easily broached.. and yes- as healers.. we do tend to see things people think are well hidden.. even from themselves.. it makes for uncomfortable companionship, all too often…  Thanks so much for the support.. I’ve wrestled with this for years.. and its good to hear that others are riding the same dragon – great ride, a bit bumpy. 🙂

What are your experiences or support mechanisms?  How do you broach conversations with friends who don’t have the language/structure to process?  Do you walk away? Hold space? Ride it out?  Try to find a way to put it on the table?  Share in comments below 🙂



I am an Education Specialist, Health Coach and Author. I work with aspects of the teachings I have learned from Andean shamanic and cosmology, to health, nutrition and education.  Everything is energy. Energy must flow. Like water, when it does not flow, it stagnates and is not healthy. These techniques help your life to flow. I have been initiated into many of the ancient lineages and learned ceremonies, rites of passage and healing techniques.  I have worked as a healer and done workshops and taught some of these aspects – passing the teachings on.

Author of:
Dancing in Your Bubble : ancient teaching, modern healing
Natural Support for Alzheimer’s
Getting a Handle on Happy : find and fix causes of stress and depression
The Naturally Smarter Kid : a parent’s guide to helping kids succeed in school and life
Cafe of the Hungry Ghosts : behind the veil of ordinary – a paranormal-ish fiction book