Healers: Balancing Compassion and Boundaries in Relationships

I was just having an ongoing discussion about compassion and how we process what we experience.. someone made a very good distinction and reminder, about the importance in differentiating between the person, and the action.. that is ALWAYS a huge factor.. because we may be the sum of our actions.. but we are not every individual action.. I imagine this is particularly true when external influences impact the choices and actions we make in any given moment.

As a healer.. I am often caught between not-liking what I see people around me doing.. sometimes this is because it’s a personal act that affects me.. an offhand comment.. being mis-treated, poorly treated.. treated without good integrity etc..Healers often see too much, too clearly.. the many things, invisible to the rest of the waking/ walking world.. things which might not be apparent.. but whose impacts are very profoundly felt: in the choices and actions people make…

So, back to differentiating between the person, and the action..

How does one differentiate enough to maintain healthy personal boundaries? Especially as a healer.. how does one hold compassion for others, when it takes a personal, emotional toll? Or rather.. the question may not be: how does one hold compassion.. but how does one balance that compassion.. with the need to protect the self.. which often, is hyper-sensitive and often vulnerable ( the double-edged blade that makes so many of us good at what we do…?)

I definitely agree- that as part of our own work, if we can

But often, even in those moments, I can also see/ sense the external factors and facets playing out. Of course, as a healer, I am often caught in the quandary of.. you don’t/ can’t interfere without permission/ being asked.. so even if I could see something in someone’s bubble playing out.. and ultimately impacting me, or someone else.. it just kind of sucks… like hanging around with someone who smokes.. if you really want that connection.. you just have to learn how to stand upwind… — but there are other times.. as a healer.. that you know/ sense/ see a larger landscape.. third-party (?) energetic interference.. I begin to understand why/how healers tend to associate, perhaps unintentionally, but predominantly, with other healers..

There are too many conversations you can’t have with the general populace.. things they won’t get.. or will take the wrong way.. or will end up being resentful, or feeling invaded.. or as though you can see a little too much.. of things they prefer to keep hidden.. even from themselves..

As a healer.. esp someone who has hopefully matured (?) grown beyond the polarity.. we may not see or attach judgement to things.. and take it as it is.. others.. are not in that place.. and as a result.. either ascribe their own judgements to things.. or perceive that judgement accompanies the input..

I definitely agree, that if we can find what the loving part of our heart is/ was trying to do.. that we can better resolve situations for the good of the whole.. I suppose the dilemma becomes that sometimes, the good of the whole.. and the immediate (?) need to protect personal boundaries.. may not always be one and the same.. especially where external influences ( third party energetic interference).. is involved..

How do any other healers/ intuitives/ sensitives work with this dilemma? I’m not sure I’ve explained it well.. I know that as a sensitive, as part of who/what I am ( we are).. we, and those we touch.. are more susceptible to things that swim in the waters in which we often swim… How does one hold/ process situations.. when it’s also possible that the people involved are not aware that the choices they make might not be fully their own…



I am an Education Specialist, Health Coach and Author. I work with aspects of the teachings I have learned from Andean shamanic and cosmology, to health, nutrition and education.  Everything is energy. Energy must flow. Like water, when it does not flow, it stagnates and is not healthy. These techniques help your life to flow. I have been initiated into many of the ancient lineages and learned ceremonies, rites of passage and healing techniques.  I have worked as a healer and done workshops and taught some of these aspects – passing the teachings on.

Author of:
Dancing in Your Bubble : ancient teaching, modern healing
Natural Support for Alzheimer’s
Getting a Handle on Happy : find and fix causes of stress and depression
The Naturally Smarter Kid : a parent’s guide to helping kids succeed in school and life
Cafe of the Hungry Ghosts : behind the veil of ordinary – a paranormal-ish fiction book