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Choose Your Reactions Wisely

Caroline NettleA person can only make you angry if you allow them to. What this means is that no one can make you feel angry, only that you choose to react with anger to what they have said or done.

Often we project so much of our own agenda onto someone or onto a situation that we blame them for causing reactions in us, when we engineer it so that we can express anger. If this doesn’t make sense, think of a time when someone did something to cause you to be angry, and then repeated it again and again. Did they force you to stay and watch / listen to the thing that caused you to be angry? Did you expect them to change to suit your requirements of them?

The truth is that they are just being the way they are in the world, and if this angers you, then the issue lies with you, not them. You chose to repeatedly be annoyed by something that someone else did or said, without making the choice to find a way to not be annoyed by it or leave.

If something makes you angry on a consistent basis, try to see that this is just a projection of your issues onto someone or something else. If you are always annoyed when people do not listen to you – where do you not either listen to others, or not listen to yourself? If it is selfish people that aggravate you, where are you selfish? And so on. Other people are merely reflecting back to you your own issues, and if there is a constant theme, try looking at it within yourself and owning your part in it. This takes honesty and courage as it is very comfortable to play the victim, but standing in your power requires strength and the desire to change.

Every moment, we have a choice. We can react from revenge, anger, blame, victim-hood, jealousy, hatred, bigotry, or any other reaction that is basically a cover for fear. Alternatively we can react from love. Most people that act in a way that we do not approve of are actually just looking for love, the only way they know how.

If you are angry and my reaction is one of anger, then nothing will get resolved. If I chose to see that your anger is a cry for love and I react with love, then the anger is dissipated, and harmony restored. Choose love as often as you can, and you will find that the people around you will treat you in a more loving way.



My website is the culmination of many years of seeking answers about my own health and well-being, and studying the human condition. I write articles, am a healer and give talks about subjects relating to spiritual growth and personal development. I am passionate about healing, recovery, and assisting others to grow.




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