I laughed too… The yang to the ying always present in this paradigm; I am a thorn, with the rose beside me.
I usually choose an aisle seat so that I don’t have to disturb anyone when I want to go to the loo!
But today I have really enjoyed watching us take off… Spain getting smaller… We flew right over the reservoir that we drive pass on our way up to the Alpujarras…
It felt exciting and magical to see the turquoise blue water there below me, like a make believe land that I inhabit for a short while and then leave again….
A metaphor for this make believe land, that we all inhabit for a short while and then leave again.
Life is a flash in the enormity of existence, and we are a spark of energy that burns with life for a short while and then goes out again…
And while we are alight, we have the opportunity to burn brightly.
To integrate and burn away all the stuff within us that is preventing us remembering who we truly are.
Our father said this to us so often, while we were growing up.
‘Know thyself darling…’
He was the perfect energy for me to stretch my emotional muscles against…
When I was thirty three years old, I was making life choices and behaving in ways that were part of my own discovery, but that didn’t fit his moral code… He asked that I go and see him, because he wanted to talk to me about ‘my morals and my integrity…’
I didn’t go, instead we talked on the phone for two hours and I shared more of myself and my life with him… By now I reckoned that I knew myself better than I believed he knew me…
Three months later I did go to see him.
We lunched together on his birthday and during the course of our time together he said to me…
‘Darling, I think you are finding yourself….’
And so the very person we might think is crushing us, or disapproving of us, or misunderstanding us, can in truth be the very person who offers us the opportunity for growth, to go within and discover who we truly are.
This land is a make believe land, that we are making up as we go.
Our energy is creating our experience, and as we are in a paradigm of polarity… So if there is any dark in the world that we do not like, that affects us and we react to, whether that is in our own immediate circles, or globally, then our responsibility to to seek where this darkness is within us and own it and balance it… To be whole we must embrace all that we hide in the shadows… Integrate it, and bring it forth, so that it transforms rather than destroys.
This applies to our hidden ‘gold’ too… Sometimes we might react to light in the world, because it is within us, but not yet integrated… Our ‘work’ is to be conscious at all times of the importance of owning our own shadow…
It is only when we have owned/cleared our own shadow, both light and dark, that we can truly experience the consciousness from which we are all ‘born’.
Light and dark are the polarity in the world we inhabit, a place where we can experience our energy because we are in a human body.
In integrating and clearing our energy, we will find our true self… We will discover ourselves in the silence between thought and in the still point in our breath.
We are so much more than anything we might define ourselves by now, whether that be in light or dark terms…
Whether we are playing the rose or the thorn on the stage of life in any moment, when we recognise and integrate both aspects, we will know that beyond this is the silence from which we are all created, and which reminds us that we are all one….
I have been running all of my life – it feels I was born to run. In the running step I experienced freedom and my true expression. I came to see that I needed to ‘get out of the way of myself’ and let my energy flow through the running step; allow it to express itself in the dance and the motion of running. I ran for England and GB for some years. My first international was in 1979, a three mile cross country race; and I continued to run at international level until 1993. Two of my best results were first place in the Dublin City Marathon in 1985 and 7th place woman, 3rd British woman in the 1986 London Marathon in a time of 2.36.31, which gained me selection for the Commonwealth Games.
As a little girl I ran barefoot for many years, and then I put on shoes to race around the world. Fifty years later I am travelling the world as a nomad with my husband Anadi and I have taken off my shoes and I am running barefoot again….
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