When Connection isn’t Always Such a Great Thing!
This quote turned up on my Facebook page the other day and got me to thinking. ‘We tend to judge others by their behaviour and ourselves by our intentions’ – Albert F Schlieder.
I know that there are many things I am passionate about and I have very strong opinions on certain subjects, but the above quote gave me pause and made me ask myself ‘Do my opinions sometimes get in the way of being open to fresh knowledge?’
I have been active on a number of forums over the years and it never fails to amaze me how many people on there just talk and don’t listen. They have an ‘it’s my way or the highway’ attitude and egos aren’t just bouncing off the walls but off the ceilings and floors too! An outsider watching the conversations can see that there is merit to both sides of the argument, but neither of the contestants can see any side other than their own.
What then transpires is that their connection to their beliefs causes massive disconnection to others – unless those people happen to hold the same beliefs of course! This is extremely limiting, not just for collaborative ventures but in life in general! How many opportunities will they miss out on because they can’t get past their own opinions?
Why do we automatically assume that like-minded people would have the best intentions towards us, and those different from ourselves would just be trying to bully us into submission? Is that really a valid belief? The like-minded people could be just as blinkered as ourselves on certain matters, and would just strengthen our self-righteousness and belief that we have all the answers – thus keeping us inside our own personal box! The people who don’t think like us and buy in to our ideas could purely have the intention of opening our eyes to other possibilities (which we can accept or reject at will). This can be a painful experience, depending on how high up the ladder of being right we are, but ultimately it will enable us to be a much wiser person who has their eyes and ears wide open for opportunities outside of their comfort zone!
I believe that we attract to ourselves the lessons we need to learn. Therefore, when we judge someone else, there is something that resonates deep within us that we are trying to ignore, something ‘not so nice or acceptable in polite society’!
We need to really listen to others who are giving us their knowledge and wisdom – whether they are someone we know, a person we meet randomly in the street or a small child – as we always have something to learn. We need to listen without judgement.
When we give our knowledge and wisdom to others, we need to be sure that we are still hearing them, and not coming from a place of ‘we know it all’. When we are passionate about something there is a tendency to wax lyrical, but our truth might not be someone else’s truth, and we need to give them the opportunity to reject it without being personally offended. We need to stand back and ask ourselves if we are in fact bullying them into submission and, if that resonates, we should look at where our intentions are really coming from. Is the intention to humbly offer knowledge that we think would be useful to them, or is it to show them how clever, more intelligent and superior we are?
So, in conclusion, I believe that our connection to our ideas and beliefs should be open and flowing, so that we don’t ultimately disconnect ourselves from other people and their wealth of knowledge and wisdom. If we truly respect others, then this shouldn’t be such a difficult thing to achieve.
Comments and discussion are always welcome. 🙂 Please use the comment box below.
Sue is the Founder of Soulfully Connecting. She has spent over 40 years on her spiritual journey which, amongst other things, included training as a medium, hands on healing and travelling with a shaman. She trained for 3 years as a graphologist and for 23 years has been a reader specialising in graphology and tarot – 14 of those years were spent participating in festivals both at home and abroad.
The idea behind Soulfully Connecting is to demonstrate that there are other ways of living which can heal the earth, the animal kingdom and ourselves. She is passionate about people having freedom of choice, which is only possible when they know about all the options.
Sue is a member of the 7 Graces of Marketing community, the core purpose of which is to promote ethical marketing.
Twitter – @soulecting and @soulfullysue
